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LOTR: A Musical in 3 Parts
by Kristin Lindstrom

(credits to everyone on the message boards especially BullRoarer for his "The Council of Elrond Song")


(The narrator:)
When Mr. Bilbo Baggins celebrated his eleventy-first birthday it was with a party of special magnificence.

All the party guests sing:

"Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Eleventy-first Birthday Dear Bilbo
Happy Birthday to you."

—'Now give us our presents!'

(As they say that Bilbo vanishes in a cloud of smoke, never too be seen in Hobbiton again.)

(sign with "17 Years later..." written on it)

Gandalf: Frodo, This ring is the one ring it has to be destroyed!!!!

Frodo sings:
"Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away,
now it looks as though they're here to stay,
Oh, I believe in Yesterday."

"Suddenly, I'm not the HALFLING that I used to be,
There's a shadow hanging over me,
Oh, yesterday came suddenly"

Frodo, Sam, Pippin and Merry decide to go on the long journey to Rivendell, Frodo tells them about the Black Riders and adds: (to the tune of New York, New York)

"You can't spread the news
We're leaving tomorrow
If they're aware of it
Mordor, Mordor"

"These vagabond feet
Ain't longing to stray,
into the very heart of it
Mordor, Mordor"

They start their journey. (in the Old Forest):

"These trees are coming closer
Oh, my God it's true.
These trees are coming closer
What are we gonna do?
These trees are coming closer
How will we get through?"

Then they hear: (Tom Bombadil rapping)

"I'm Tom Bombadil,
I don't sit still,
I'll save you from this tree,
He ain't no friend of me!"

Tom tells them about the Prancing Pony where they meet Aragorn and sing:

"Who are you" (by The Who)

They realize that he's an OK guy and continue to Weathertop where the Black Riders try to take the Ring:

"Give it away" (by Red Hot Chili Peppers)

But they fail. One of them goes back to Mordor and sings to Sauron: (á la The Beatles "She Loves You")

"You think you lost your love,
Well I saw it yesterday-yi-yay
It's you it's thinking of,
And it told me what to say-iy-yay
It says it loves you and you know that can't be bad,
It says it loves you and you know you should be glad."

Frodo & Co. comes to Rivendell and are part of the Council of Elrond:

"How can we solve a problem like the One Ring?
Where can we find the heat to melt it down?
How can we solve a problem like the One Ring?
And if it's destroyed will that bring Sauron down?"

They decide to go with Gandalf, Gimli, Legolas and Boromir to Mordor to destroy the ring in the fires of Mount Doom, and as they leave Aragorn sings to Arwen:

Freebird (by Lynyrd Skynyrd)

In Moria Gandalf fights a Balrog and falls

"Down, down, down, in a burning ring of fire
and it burns, burns, burns, as the flame goes higher"

The others escape to Lothlórien where Gimli is smitten by Queen Galadriel’s Beauty and sings

"Lady" (by Kenny Rogers)

After that the Fellowship is broken at the shore of the great river Anduin and Frodo and Sam continue to Mordor, while Pippin and Merry are captured by the Orcs and Boromir dies. Legolas, Gimli, and Aragorn sing:

"Bright side of life" (by Monthy Python)

End of Part One. Don't miss Parts 2 and 3–
"The Two Tenors," and
"He Returns as We Sing"
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