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TOLKIEN FILKS - The Gollum (with Arrowroot)
by Lea Frost

(Tune: "The Boxer" by Simon and Garfunkel)

Comments: This one was written in approximately ten minutes, in response to a challenge (of sorts) at the Imladris LotR forum. I think it shows. :-) In any case, credit where it's due: Arrowroot (one of the best parodists at Imladris, if you ask me) wrote the first six lines.

We are just a poor soul though our story's seldom told,
How we squandered our existence
For a pocket full of fishes and a golden ring.

All eyes were in jest when I disappeared
But a Stoor sees what he wants to see and disregards the rest, gollum, gollum, gollum, gollum...

When we left our home and our family we was no more than a boy,
In the company of Goblins, in the quiet of the Misty Mountains dripping gloom.
Laying low, seeking out the chilly waters where the nice fishes go,
Looking for the places only we would know.

Lie la lie, etc.

Till our precious birthday present it went slipping all away and we couldn't find it,
And the cursed Baggins stole it all away from us.
I do declare, Baggins cheated, took our Precious, and he vanished in thin air,
La la la la la la la...

Lie la lie, etc.

Well, I'm in the Dark Lord's tower, and I'm wishing I was gone, going home,
Where the Dark Lord's nasty servants aren't beating me, leading me, going home...

Through the Black Land creeps a Gollum, was a Hobbit long ago,
And he carries the reminders
Of endless years of withering and yearning till he cries out in his anger and his pain,
"Give us Precious, give us Precious!"
But the Baggins still remains...

Lie la lie, ad nauseam.

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