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How Hollywood may depict characters from LOTR
by Berendir

How Hollywood may depict characters from LOTR while still staying true to the Medieval fantasy time period:

Aragorn – A tall handsome man, who never fails to have a quick witty come back, and a funny catch phrase, at such opportune times as when massive armies are attacking, ensuring certain death. He is dressed in dark green leathers, with a long cloak, covering his body, concealing his armor. They’ll be many a time, when Aragorn reveals himself in a heroic, dramatic moment, by opening his cloak, revealing his shiny metal breastplate, which never fails to inspire awe in all that are within his kingly presence. He has such skill with his sword, that Orcs just jump on his sword, leaving piles of dead victims at his feet. When he yells the name of Narsil, his blade, the foes scream, and flee, for they know that the great warrior Aragorn is near!

Sauron – When reading The Lord of the Rings, there is nothing to gives you a definite description of Sauron, and so you might imagine him as a shadow of evil, a presence that can be felt, and is difficult to see. Perhaps shrouded in cloaks, perhaps when looking at him, there are only signs of a creature hidden beneath his terrible malice. But oh no! Not in this movie. He is tall, rough looking man, strong in build, clad in all black leather armor, with spikes protruding from the shoulders, and waist. His helmet has large horns coming from either side, and his eyes turn completely black when he his angry. He has horrible booming laugh, with a hint of cackling in it. You never get to see Sauron in battle of course, but just for fun, they’ve given him some lines. Apparently the script writers thought it would be good to include puns, such as was seen in one of the more recent Batman films, including Mr. Freeze. Sauron has many of these one-liners, including, "Soon Gondor will have a Shadow over it, the very shadow of my doom! Mwahahaha!" That’s just one of the witty one-liners that Sauron will be delivering on the big screen.

Gandalf – They went all out for Gandalf. When he is still Gandalf the Grey, he has a great big blue hat, with a purple feather in it. He wears a great big grey robe, made of animal fur, the goes down to his feet, and drags slightly behind him. He walks with a slight limp (a rather stylish limp) and has a nice golden staff, with a glass ball at the end, in which he grips. He’s never without a cigar in the other hand, and followed by several lovely ladies. (not to mention some great gold chains that hang around his neck). After he makes the transformation into Gandalf the White, he keeps his same style, only his robes are now sparkling white, with diamonds covering it, and the woman that follow him around are now Elven! Gandalf, much like Aragorn and Sauron, is also equipped with some great one-liners, (which are completely out of place of course).

Well, the script writers are working day and night on the other characters. I’m sure they’ll do a great job with them, just like the three characters above. As soon as they’ve finished some more, I’ll make sure to send them.

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